Posts Tagged: ADD/ADHD

ADHD Traits — No Comments
6
Dec 11

ADD Blogging Writing with ADHD

I sat down nearly two hours ago to write a post for this oft neglected ADD blog. What happened? Well, not to put too fine a point on it: ADD.

Let me start by saying that I don’t “blame” my ADHD for things. That is neither productive, nor completely accurate. However, it is often the case that I look back and smile when I can see the ADD traits unfolding as I recall recent events.

Let’s start by clarifying what I mean by sitting down to write a post.

English: Symptoms of ADHD described by the lit...What I really mean is that I was looking at the analytics for my personal finance blog at FinanceGourmet when I noticed that the traffic had blipped back up here at Addessories. Curious, I got distracted (Hey, look! Something shiny) and started looking at what posts here were getting increased traffic. Eventually, I hit the big Addessories text at the top of the screen to get back to the home page where I noticed that is has been a very long time since I last wrote here. Doh!

Thus, I decided to write an ADD tips post for this ADHD blog.

To write the post, I entered the WordPress dashboard. So far, so good.

I noticed that a few of the plugins needed to be updated (Uh, oh.)

Of course, I don’t want out of date plugins, so I checked them all and clicked update. When they were finished updating, I should have gone right back to writing, but it seemed like one of my usual plugins was missing. Unable to determine which one, I went and logged into my freelance writing blog in order to look at what plugins where installed there.

If you don’t know how this ends, you must be new here.

Anyway, long story, short, I ended up installing a new plugin, writing a blog post about it (Zemanta WordPress Plugin for Online Writers) at the writing blog and then found about a dozen other things to do including checking Facebook, looking to see when the Broncos play this weekend and checking my Google AdSense earnings.

If it makes anyone feel better, that graphic came from the Zemanta plugin, so it was worth installing :)

 

At this point in time, it is well after 10:00 p.m. and I have numerous things I must do before going to bed, some of which have been urgent for an hour or more, including getting a drink, and ironically, going to the bathroom.

What is the point of all this?

Nothing, other than further proof that I am definitely one of us. Oh, and, now I don’t feel so bad about not actually writing that update even though this one isn’t really too much of an update.

Don’t worry, I’ll be back tomorrow (or the next day). Procrastination is the enemy of all, but especially those of us with the inattentive form of ADD.

See you later.

ADHD Traits — 3 Comments
2
Mar 11

Adult ADD Symptom Criteria

ADD Research ADHD StudiesAn interesting ADD research review from November 2010 ask whether the proper criteria are being used to diagnose adult ADD.  Attention deficit disorder, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, as it is officially called, has three clinically defined types.  Each type of ADHD has its own symptoms and potential treatments.  However, the criteria necessary for a diagnosis of adult ADHD is laid out in a manual known as DSM-IV. One group of researchers reviewed clinical interviews to see how the ADD symptoms criteria should be re-examined for the upcoming publication of DSM-V.

Diagnosis of Adult ADD

One interesting result of the research was that almost half of the people who had ADHD as a child still meet the DSM-IV criteria to be diagnosed with adult ADHD.  Of those, almost all of them still report a current attention deficit disorder (94.9%) while just over a third still report a hyperactivity issue (34.6%).

In other words, the persistence of ADD into adulthood is correlated much more with attention deficit rather than with hyperactivity.

To put it another way, you are much more likely to outgrow being hyperactive than you are to outgrow an attention deficit.

The main issue raised by the researchers is that many consider ADD to have three factors. Two of the factors are recognized by the DSM-IV as requirements for a diagnosis of adult ADD, while the third is not.

According to the researchers, the three factors of adult ADD are:

  1. Inattention / Hyperactivity
  2. Impulsivity
  3. Impaired Executive Function

Executive function is not a recognized criteria for adult ADD, however, as the review shows, it is the least likely of the three to be outgrown.  In other words, it is the key component of an adult ADD diagnosis and it is not currently used as a criteria.

Whether anything will come of this research remains to be seen, however, it does provide some useful information for us adults with ADHD. Just because you are not hyperactive, doesn’t mean you don’t still have the core issue that comes with ADD. Furthermore, perhaps as you age and choose your ADD treatments based on solid scientific data and medical research, you may want to prioritize those that focus on executive function.

 

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ADHD Traits — 6 Comments
1
Feb 11

Distraction versus Do It Now

One of the trickiest things about dealing with ADD is that it happens inside of your own brain, which makes it incredibly difficult to be truly objective.  In turn, that lack of objectivity can lead to making bad decisions.

The most important symptom of ADD is being chronically distracted in a manner above and beyond the norm.  This condition is often referred to as distractibility.  Once you have been diagnosed with ADD, you spend a fair amount of time searching for that distraction occurring within your own mind.  This in itself can become a distraction, but we’ll leave that aside for today.

How To Tell If It’s ADD Distraction

add-focus-adhdToday I was working at my desk.  I am a freelance writer who works from home.  I have created a small office in a closet in my basement as a way to both block out the distractions of working at home — TV, Internet, kids playing — and a way to focus on my work.  My desk fits against a wall.  On either side are shelves with office supplies, books and printers.  All in all, as distraction free of an environment as you can get without resorting to blank walls, empty desks, and soundproofing.  Still, as an adult with ADD, distractions pop into my brain all of the time without any additional stimulus.

On this particular morning, the thought that showed up uninvited in my mind was that I needed to make a phone call that I had been putting off for a few days.  Like many people with ADHD, I would think of making the call, decide to do it "in a minute" and then forget all about it.  So, when it came up during a time when I was both willing and able to make the call, I grabbed the opportunity.

When I returned to my desk, I started beating myself up about getting distracted while I was supposed to be working.  Then, it hit me.

Was I really distracted, or did I finally take care of something that needed to be done by doing it right away.

This is, of course, a trick question.

  • Doing something that needs to be done right away is a good thing.
  • Stopping what you are supposed to be doing in order to do something else is a bad thing.

The trick is that it was not a "bad" thing to take care of something that needed to be taken care of.  What was a "bad" thing was not doing it before during all of the other windows that were available so that I didn’t have to interrupt what I needed to be doing to finally take care of it.

As ADDers, we beat ourselves up too much anyway.  Be sure that you are at least trying to correct the right thing.

In this case, I should have been proud of myself for returning immediately to work after making the call and glad that the task had been completed.  The correction that I need to make is getting to these things before I should be focusing on something else.

Oh, and the other thing I need to work on a bit is not writing blog posts whenever I have a thought about ADD instead of getting back to work on the paying freelance writing gig that is due this week :)

ADHD-ADD Tips — 1 Comment
23
Nov 10

Living With ADD – Productive Procrastination?

The guys over at the website MakeUseOf.com usually write articles about software, websites, and other utilities. For those of us with ADD and technical skills, it’s a productivity nightmare. Not because they do anything bad, but because they offer up so many electronic goodies in the form of free software and tools that it is hard not to get distracted and end up spending hours tracking down all of the great new distraction free writing programs and testing them out when you should be working.

ADD Tips at Make Use OfWhen an article showed up in my RSS feed from the site regarding “productive procrastination” I figured it was a typo, or more likely, a targeted SEO keyword phrase that they were aiming for with the article. I do the same thing here and on other blogs and websites in order to court Google’s SERP favor. Every title I write on this blog, for example, I end up trying to shoehorn in either ADD or ADHD plus some other useful keyword in order to not torpedo my own posts.

In this case, it was neither. It turns out that the article’s premise is that there are ways in which one can procrastinate in a productive manner. The idea being that if you are going to procrastinate anyway (not a bad premise), then you may as well do it in a way that is beneficial to improve your overall time management. For example, if there is a way you can network or otherwise build your professional contacts network while you are not writing that report that is due Monday, at least the time being wasted is building up something that you need anyway, maybe sooner than you think if you don’t finish up that report!

Like many good ideas, nothing in the article is earth shattering, but the concept could be used to one’s advantage.

After thinking about it for a few minutes I considered my own list of ways to procrastinate productively:

  1. Return phone calls – Everyone procrastinates using email, so that doesn’t count. Actual phone calls, however, are usually important enough to count as productivity.
  2. Pay Bills – If you are an adult with ADD, you know that paying bills can get lost in the shuffle. If you aren’t writing that 1,000 word article due in two hours, you might as well avoid some late fees while you are not doing it.
  3. Blog – If you have a professional blog, or a website that makes money from your writing it, then write and post an update. It might not be the most productive thing you could be doing, nor the one that would earn the most money (Ahem!) but it could pay off in the long-term and it might make you feel better to get something off your distracted mind so that it can focus on what it should be doing.
  4. Read – Not fiction, not websites, real, live, knowledge building reading. If you can’t focus on what you should be focusing on, then try and get smarter.
  5. Nap – If you aren’t getting enough sleep, or you are just tired, getting distracted is too easy. Procrastinating when you are tired is just as easy. Try a 20 minute snoozer and see if it restores your productivity. If it works, that “wasted” 20 minutes will probably make the remaining hours and minutes of your day more productive enough to make up for the nap. Just don’t get sucked into laying in bed all day.

Anyone else have ideas for productive procrastination?

ADD Organization Tips / ADHD-ADD Tips — No Comments
30
Aug 10

Deals On Organization Tools for ADD ADHD

I usually don’t do a lot with deals or online coupons here on ADDessories. There are a lot of deal websites and coupon websites out there that do it better, mostly because they do it 24/7. However, this time I am making an exception, because there are Target stores everywhere, and because the planning and organizing tools that they have right now are so cheap that they are a good way to test out what kind of ADD tools and ADHD organization resources might work best for you.

I’m making a big assumption here that most Targets, or at least most Super Targets have a similar layout and structure to the ones here in Denver, Colorado. If not, you might have to look around the aisles a little bit or see if they have the same deals online or maybe if there are some Target coupon codes online that you can use to get the same kind of value.

Near the entrance of our Target stores, there is a dollar area. The items in this little section are rotated in and out fairly regularly and typically cost $1 or $2.50 depending upon the item. Either way, that is a good deal for a little white board, cork board tiles, or notebooks. Don’t get me wrong this is not high quality office supply store type stuff. These are cheapo, made in China, the cheapest way possible items. However, they will work for a little while and that gives ADDers an opportunity to try them out.

Have you ever wondered if a good ADD organization tip would be to put a white board in every room of your house, or if it would be a great way for people with ADHD to remember things to have a little corkboard tile section by the front door, backdoor, and the door to your bedroom and office? It can be an expensive experiment to see if that works for you if you are shelling out $15 per whiteboard. But, with these cheap whiteboards and dry erase calendars at Target, you could put one in every room of a 10 bedroom house for less than $30. That’s a good way to try out some ideas.

Check out your local Target or pop over to Target.com and see if you can get rock bottom priced dry erase boards, dry-erase calendars, and more to help improve your organization skills and manage your ADD better without new medications or anything chemical for a change.

- Everyone have a nice– “Hey, is that something interesting over there?”   :)

ADHD Traits — No Comments
27
Aug 10

Toughest Thing About ADD

The hardest part about ADHD in adults and ADD in kids is that no matter whether you take standard prescription drugs from a doctor, or work out your own drug-free alternative ADD treatment, nothing helps you focus on the RIGHT things.

That is, while Adderall may help you focus, there is nothing in it or Ritalin or Vyvanse that will make you focus on schoolwork or on that critical project due for work. They can help keep you focused and help you get distracted less often, but in the end, you have to make yourself focus on the right thing FIRST, and THEN the meds will help keep your focus in place. But, if you don’t get your focus on the subject you need to focus on, then all they do is help stop you from being distracted from something you shouldn’t be doing in the first place.

Who wants to guess what my top ADD issue is this morning?

Hope your day is more focused and productive than mine has been so far.

– ADDer

ADHD Traits — No Comments
1
Jul 10

What Is Attention Deficit Disorder Like

Understanding attention deficit disorder, or ADD, requires getting past the pop culture version of ADHD, also called Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, and looking at what attention deficit disorder is really like.

First off, you need a basic understanding of the symptoms of attention deficit disorder. Once you have a basic grasp on the generalized symptoms of ADHD, you need to be aware that there are actually three forms of ADD all of which can be present in both adults and in children. After that, you will want to understand both the conventional ADD treatments of therapy, coaching, and prescription medications, as well as the bombardment of new, maybe works, kind of sort-of backed up by scientific data, alternative treatments for ADHD.

Of course, all of that only gives you a basic concept of what the condition is like in some prototype population like attention deficit disorder child or adult adhd labeled groups. None of that gives anyone a real grasp of what it is actually like to have ADD as an adult or as a teen or child. That is why from time to time I like to profile here on Addessories real life events or stories of an adult with ADHD. (It’s me.)

Deadline Today’s life with ADD episode comes courtesy of my small home office where I conduct my freelance writing business as a work from home dad. For the past three or four hours there has been a small empty plate on my desk. It comes and goes from my consciousness as I fling my fingers across the keyboard generating text that will hopefully pay the mortgage and more this month. When it arrives in my consciousness, or what I like to call “my front brain,” it annoys me a little bit because I can’t remember how it got there or what was on it. Also, I have had a terrible headache for the past 90 minutes because I’ve been thinking, “I need to go get something to drink,” for somewhere around 70 minutes, but I keep remembering in the middle of writing something and I know that if I stop, it might take me a while to get started again, or more likely, I might not be able to quite remember where I was going with my thoughts and I’ll have to start over altogether.

In a lot of ways this is nothing more than so much whining, except that none of this is uncommon.

When someone calls on the phone or a family member pops by my home office, they almost always have to wait for me to go to the restroom before they can talk to me. You see, while I am working my brain does scatter about distractedly from here to there, but one of the “theres” never seems to be my bodily functions. Rather, my mind wonders if I finished that article I started this morning, if there are better keywords than the ones I am using, and it can’t help but wonder what the plate is doing on my desk.

As it turns out, my wife brought me a sandwich and strawberries for lunch on that plate. Ah, that’s what it was.

Which brings us to today’s lesson in ADHD. People with ADHD are not forgetful, per se. While I struggled to come up with an idea of what the plate was doing on my desk that was less a function of being unable to remember and more a function of being unable to command some of the sections of my brain to stop doing whatever it was they are already doing and focus on the issue of the plate. Once the image of the strawberries popped back into my front brain (one of those brain centers apparently got around to processing some of the things in its queue, like what about the plate) I could remember everything about it.

I remember her appearing at my side with the plate. I remember that she had one too. I remember how good the strawberries were and what kind of sandwich it was. I also remember why I put the plate on my desk. (I wanted to remember to take it upstairs and not leave it on a shelf in my office.)

The point of all this noise is that the symptoms of ADD are not necessarily comical stereotypes of forgetful space cadets, but rather the manifestation of what happens when, in some cases (not all the time), one cannot calm the brain down enough to get it to do the front brain’s bidding and instead, the rest of the brain (the back brain, if you will) continues on with what it already had determined — often at the front brain’s command — what was currently important and that new requests would simply have to wait.

In other words, this isn’t the absent minded professor. ADHD is the command center switchboard with too many urgent requests coming in from the field. The good news is that if you can wait around a minute, your call will be answered in the order it was received.

ADD Medication — No Comments
14
Jun 10

ADHD Prescriptions Are Controlled Substances

As any anyone with ADHD can tell you, the drugs for ADD are classified as controlled substances. You can’t get refills of ADHD prescriptions, you have to get a new prescription for every time you get your monthly supply of Adderall or Ritalin. Likewise, the pharmacy cannot call your doctor to get an approval for your ADD prescription for you like they can for other drugs like antibiotics or insulin. Of course, this also means that you cannot take advantage of the discounts or convenience for getting  your prescriptions in a 90-day supply via mail order from your insurance company, either.

Too bad, because it would be a great ADHD advice tip to have people who aren’t good at organization and remembering to-do lists to have their medication automatically mailed each month.

All drugs (not supplements – there is a difference) are controlled substances by virtue of being “controlled” by the DEA and the FDA. What people with attention deficit disorder may not realize is how ADHD drugs are classified.

Adderall, Ritalin, Concerta, Vyvanse, and all the generic equivalents are classified as “Schedule II” controlled substances.

That may not sound absurd at first, but believe me, it is asinine and yet another example of why the so-called war on drugs is so messed up.

Adderall Is As Bad As Morphine or Cocaine

There are technically five schedules used for classifying drugs. Schedule I drugs are the “bad” drugs, the ones that get smuggled in by villains using super speedboats and hollowed out dolls, depending upon the movie. These are the narcotic drugs and they include Heroin, Ecstasy, Marijuana, and LSD. Ironically, cocaine is not on this list which is going to make your Adderall meds being on the next list all the more pathetic.

Schedule II drugs are the very next set of medications. This is where ADD medicines are classified, just one step below Heroin and meth. It is also where cocaine is classified, as well as all of those pain killers that you hear about people getting addicted to.

How are ADHD medicines like Adderall and Ritalin grouped with pain killers and cocaine?

The law states that in order to be classified as a Schedule II controlled substance three factors must be met:

  1. There is a high potential for abuse
  2. There are valid medical reasons for using the drug (this is the difference between Schedule I and II)
  3. Abuse of the drug may lead to severe psychological or physical dependence

Wow!

Number 3 is a newsflash to me. No one every told me that taking mixed amphetamine salts could lead to severe dependence!

Of course, the reason no one ever told me that, is because it is not true.

There have been no medical studies that suggest that taking ADD medication like Adderall leads to any kind of dependence at all, except for having to get used to its affects going away. Certainly there is no medical data that these medications cause severe dependence.

As for abuse, the only thing I have ever heard of is students using ADHD medicines to study and concentrate. That’s hardly shooting up in the back of an alley. It is not safe, but neither is taking someone’s antibiotics because you feel sick; that’s no reason to lock them all up under tighter rules.

The law requires that all three conditions be met to be listed as a Schedule II medication, so even if you go with the whole “abuse” thing, ADD drugs should not legally be classified as Schedule II substances.

Even worse, the law specifically says that the “salts of,” among other things, amphetamine,  are to be listed as Schedule III drugs.

So, the next time you have to jump through hoops in order to get the same medicine that you have gotten every month for years, remember that it isn’t even legitimate. You are just being screwed over by a Federal Agency who put your medication on there for political reasons.

ADD Books — 1 Comment
9
Apr 10

Natural ADHD Cures Do They Really Work?

There are a lot of ideas floating around in the world about how to do things “naturally.” In some ways this is a very good thing. In other ways, it is either unnecessary, or in some cases actually harmful or misleading. Just because somethign is natural doesn’t make it good. Don’t forget, it is natural for a cougar or other wild animal to attack and kill your pet dog or cat if it gets close enough and the predator is hungry. That doesn’t mean that it is something you want to happen.

Metaphysical discussions of nature aside, the world of ADHD treatment and therapy is no exception. For now, we’ll ignore the question about whether or not something is really a “cure” for ADHD. However, traditionally, a cure means that when you stop doing it, whatever you were treating does not come back. Most of the so-called natural attention deficit disorder cures actually require the subject to continue on with the treatment, whether an ADHD diet or otherwise, for pretty much ever. That makes it a therapy, or more accurately, something that alleviates the symptoms.

Natural ADD cures are reported almost everywhere from the Internet, to research reports, to magazines, and even shelves full of books. All of these discussions of natural ADHD cures share one thing in common, the idea that naturally treating ADHD without the use of harsh pharmacological compounds is better than treating attention deficit hyperactivity disorder with prescription drugs.

One of the first ADHD tips and tricks most ADDers get after being told that medication isn’t the whole solution is to get more exercise.

True Natural ADHD Cures Real Research

Interestingly enough, SOME of the claims about a natural cure for ADHD are actually grounded in real scientific research that proves that natural treatment of ADHD can have positive effects for children with ADHD and adults with ADHD. Unfortunately, many times practitioners of natural ADHD treatment take modest research findings too far and inflate them to the point where the science no longer backs up their claims.

That being said, what natural ADHD cures really work?

The idea of curing ADHD with a special ADHD diet is a popular one. What exactly the diet consists of varies. Some ADD diets require the elimination of certain foods, while other ADHD diets require eating more of certain foods, and, of course, some Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder diets require some of both. In all cases, however, there is one constant. All ADHD diet treatments proscribe a healthier diet than the average teenager with ADHD or without eats. In fact, most ADHD diets are much more healthy than most all adults and children of all ages currently eat.

What does it mean?

That kind of depends on your perspective.

When it comes to the health of the human body, there are a handful of things that work on EVERYTHING. That is, some lifestyle changes can help relieve the symptoms of virtually any disease, disorder, discomfort, or other ailment to some extent. Changing from bad dietary habits to a good healthy diet will help with just about anything. A person with the worst kind of cancer will feel better to some degree by switching to a healthy diet. So, should it be any surprise that a healthier diet helps affect the symptoms of ADHD in kids and adults?

Other powerful natural cures include exercise, positive mental outlook (laughter is the best medicine), and reducing stress.

Getting more exercise will make ADHD symptoms better in virtually everyone. As a mind-based condition, ADHD responds badly to stress. Many ADDers will tell you that their biggest ADHD symptoms get even worse when they are stressed and worried.

So, do ADHD Diets and ADD Excercise therapies work on Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder? Yes! Of course, they do.

The question should be, Do they work enough. Just because someone’s Attention Deficit Disorder gets better, doesn’t mean that it is reduced enough. Better is a relative term. When it comes to ADD what matters is whether the ADHD treatment, natural or otherwise, does enough to help the ADDer live the live that they want to live.

In that respect, the jury is out on how well an ADHD Diet works, because that jury is you.

ADHD — 2 Comments
28
Jan 10

ADHD Coping Mechanisms Blaming Yourself or Them

adhd-coping-mechanism-study-school-graphic One of the things that I have consistently found most fascinating since discovering my ADD and the science of ADHD in general, is the concept of coping mechanisms.

All human beings, whether they have attention deficit disorder or not, develop over the course of their lifetime, a set of skills (for lack of a better term) that allows them to get by in life. These skills range from the most basic, like tying your shoe, to much more complicated ones, like initiating and developing a romantic relationship with another person. Coping mechanisms are a specific subset of these life skills. A coping mechanism is a skill or habit that develops in order to compensate for something, whether it is a some sort of shortcoming, some form of emotional discomfort, or simply to take the edge off of life’s many potential disappointments. One common coping mechanism is emotional eating, where a person eats either certain foods, or large amounts of food, in an effort to make themselves feel better.

Common ADD Coping Mechanisms

For adults with ADHD, recognizing and understanding coping mechanisms is an important component of non-medication attention deficit hyperactivity disorder treatment. True coping mechanisms are mental or behavioral in nature, as opposed to functional. In other words, the constant adjustments and refinements we make everyday are not coping mechanism. The habits, skills, and emotional responses we develop over long periods of time are coping mechanisms.

For example, always placing your keys in the same place is a method of doing something, not necessarily a coping mechanism. That is simply an attempt at perfecting the flow of your current lifestyle.  However, being someone who is always compulsive about keeping everything in its assigned location, is a coping mechanism.

Like everyone, people with ADHD have good coping mechanisms, and bad coping mechanisms. Recognizing the good ones provides a starting point for developing new coping techniques or expanding upon already useful coping methods. Recognizing the negative coping mechanisms provides a starting point for lifestyle adjustments that hopefully, lead to the eventual disappearance of said habit. Detecting and adjusting the mental attitude that often accompanies negative coping responses is also a good place to start when it comes to therapy or ADHD coaching.

Blaming Yourself For ADHD or Blame Others?

One of the most intriguing things about common ADHD coping mechanisms is how they may or may not apply to any one person. Even more interesting is how the same mechanism can be flipped upside in some people that have ADHD.

One of the very common coping mechanisms for adults with ADHD is to blame supposed character or personality flaws for certain things. For example, a woman with ADD who can’t seem to do any job beyond answering phones because she is never organized enough for anything more advanced, may eventually take the edge off of such disappointments by laughingly noting that she is, “just a space cadet sometimes.” Unfortunately, this all too common side effect of ADHD, is not only surprisingly effective at blunting the hurt of disappointment, but also at making one resigned to never striving for anything else.

Reading about this coping method, or its variations, in book after book left me skipping chapters and writing off certain advice, because it never really seemed to apply to me. I’ve always been very confident in my abilities, often getting jobs, projects, and responsibilities beyond my current skill level. Fortunately, I’m also quick to learn with either the interest or immediately looming threat of disaster is strong enough. But, I thought, I’ve never really blamed myself.

Ironically, it turns out that I use the blame coping mechanism just as much (or more) than most people with ADHD, the only difference is that I blame other people.

Many ADHD books, including the oft mentioned, Hallowell books, Driven To Distraction and Delivered From Distraction are written by successful individuals who claim to have ADD themselves. In one of the books, Hallowell, who is a successful doctor, describes his thriving medical practice and his extensive work with ADD patients before saying that he, himself, also suffers from ADHD.

As I read that passage soon after being diagnosed with adult ADHD, I couldn’t help rolling my eyes. Hallowell, I figured, was lying in order to boost his credibility in the area of ADD. After all, I thought, he went to medical school, graduated, became a doctor and developed a successful medical practice, just how bad could his ADHD be? Oh, my gosh! Did he have to use sticky notes to keep track of assignments? Oh, the horror!

The truth is, that I despised Hallowell and his success as a doctor and subsequently an author. The reason is that instead of blaming myself, I blame others. When Hallowell, and his “I barely have ADD” colleagues go out and build these big, successful careers, fat bank accounts, and speaking tours, I reasoned, it hurts those of us who REALLY have ADHD.

I’ve thought that way my whole life.

“I’m the smart one. The only reason he is doing better in school is because he studies EVERY NIGHT.”

“I could have started up an Internet business, but I didn’t want to spend every single day working in my basement.”

The tragedy is that until recognizing what I was doing, I took much of it as a badge of honor.

I graduated from High School near the top of my class. I got all A’s except in English where I got B’s. I could have gotten A’s in English, but I never did homework. Literally, NEVER. I did my schoolwork during the class before the class it was due in. So, I did my Algebra homework for second period during my History class at first period. The one thing I couldn’t quite get done like that were long essays. So, every time an English paper was due, I would start it during the class before it was due, but I wouldn’t finish it. I’d have to wrap it up the next day. It was still an A paper, but with the one letter grade penalty for being late, it became a B.

I was proud of that as I left high school. You see, grades or no grades, I was faster, smarter, and better than everyone else. Those kids who left with a 4.0 where the chumps, not me. They were the ones who wasted their free time actually doing homework.

Unfortunately, not recognizing the truth cost me a lot in college where I not only continued the same pattern, but actually expanded it. In high school, attendance was required. Between parents, teachers, and administrators, the path of least resistance was going to class. Coming up with an excuse, sneaking out the door, and then trying to keep my parents from getting a phone call or note about my absence was way more work than just going to classes, so I went.

At college, that was no longer the case. In college, no one called my parents, most professors didn’t know whether you were there or not. The path of least resistance became not going to classes, and I didn’t go. My new pattern became:

  1. Go to class one or two times and get syllabus.
  2. Use syllabus to find exam dates and due dates of essays or projects.
  3. Stop going to class.
  4. Go to the class the day before the exam to get review sheets and any changes about what would be covered.
  5. Hurriedly read through the textbook chapters that would be on the exam.
  6. Take test.
  7. Surf the curve to a B or C.
  8. Start any essay or project the night before it was due. Work on it until it was “good enough.” Surf curve to C.

During my Junior year, I literally attended my Geography class 5 times the entire semester. I got an A.

The only exceptions were the classes where the professor actually took attendance and docked your grade if you missed classes. In every one of those classes, I got an A, because I actually went. Ironically, I seldom paid much attention while I was in the class. I read the student newspaper, worked on other classes’ homework, or just daydreamed. But, looking up at the board and hearing a paragraph here and there was enough to let some of the information sink in. More importantly, it was enough to give me an idea of what the professor felt was important.

For years after graduating, I proudly told anyone who asked that I graduated with a 2.14 GPA, but, I added, I never really went to class or did any of homework. I don’t know if anyone was ever impressed by that. Not that it matters.

The true tragedy is that I didn’t do anything else. There would be some redeeming value in how I spent my 4 years on campus if I had gotten in a 100 day ski season, or spent sunny days hiking, biking, or doing ANYTHING. Instead, I mostly slept in, napped, and messed around on my computer. The only good to come out of it was that in those days, the Internet was a text based Unix system. There were no web browsers, just FTP, vi editor, GREP, UUENCODE, and so on. In the end, I knew a lot about how to use computers, which meant I didn’t have to figure out how to get a job in Chemistry with no professor recommendation (none of them would have recognized me), no summer lab work, and no internships. Instead, I got a job as a computer administrator and quickly became certified in numerous technologies just as the technology bubble started ramping up.

Of course, the blaming cope strategy didn’t go away. I always felt that I should be the project manager or the startup millionaire or whatever, but I never was. The reason was simple, I could have been, but they just worked harder, tried harder, or refused to give up. Not me. Those suckers.

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These days, I try not to blame others for their success, nor assume that I would be twice as successful under the “slightly different” circumstances of me actually busting my butt to make something happen. But, like most attitudes developed over decades, it can be hard to keep up, and even harder to see when it is happening.

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